Don't Let Anyone Ever Dull Your Sparkle

Don't let anyone ever dull your sparkle seems easier said rather than done. Why does such a simple, pick-me-up mantra seem so difficult to attain? 

Well, there are two things about myself that I seem to think stand in my way. 

1. I work with children. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my job, however, when your job is a labor of love that revolves around caring for the individual needs of multiple tiny humans and their families, it's difficult to keep and focus on your own sparkle. In the childcare industry, more often than not, you find yourself working long hours, assisting class loads of children with every single need, reassuring and meeting the demands of parents and management while also dodging the inevitable childcare center drama and appeasing the childcare gods aka licensing and social services. In a nutshell, your long work day revolves around everyone and everything else but you. Therefore, when the end of the day rolls around, all that love and energy that you've sacrificed is no longer readily available. For the sake of my overall point, after it feels and seems that you've been bombarded from every direction, your sparkle is no longer there or it's difficult to just smack on. 

2. I have anxiety. Several years ago, anxiety was a term that I thought applied to "crazy" or "insane" people. However, little did I know that anxiety pops up and scares you when you least expect it. At a time when I thought I could let my individuality shine and really take control of my life, I found myself continually taken back by this mysterious force that made me hit the imaginary panic button when I would experience unexpected change or that made me apologize and over explain more times that I can count on my fingers. With all that being said, anxiety is something that causes the most microscopic and minute of phrases, situations and events to feel like the literal zombie apocalypse.

These two contributing factors to the lack of sparkle (sometimes combining into one huge event) cause me to feel alone and as if I don't have any fresh air to breathe. It sucks, but I have somewhat enjoyed navigating my way through finding the source to my anxiety, what may trigger it and most importantly, how to (pardon my french) kick it's ass. In this article, I want to emphasize on what seems to work for me and hopefully putting this out there can help others that often feel alone (like I do) when they lack a bit of sparkle and those who may just need some pointers (we're all in need of improvement). My de-stressers are definitely not magic nor do I expect them to work for everyone. If you have anything that you think I should add, please share! 

Tell It Like It Is: One thing that I have needed to work on this year is advocating for myself. I found advocating for myself to be difficult because I often felt that others would think that I am being harsh or that I am being defensive (sometimes people still do) however, letting things also bottle up inside of you and explode like Independence Day fireworks isn't the best strategy either. To be honest, one thing that I've learned is that it's more important to get what needs to be said across, even if the other parties involved don't agree with it. It can cause conflict (like upset at work or a temporary cease in friendship) but speaking your mind and telling it like it is always works in your favor. Even if it doesn't seem like it does. For example, I thought I was working my dream job earlier this year. But, things didn't turn out as I planned. When it came time for me to decide on finding a new job, I chose to let my voice be heard rather than to play it safe and avoid conflict like I  have in the past. At the time, I was scared of the unknown but it worked out in my favor. Things looked and felt hopeless but once I spoke my mind, new opportunities opened up for me. 

Comfort Food or Drink: Stress eating is never great. However, I find it easier to not just mindlessly eat when I have something in mind. When I'm stressed at work that's usually a Diet Coke and some spicy chips (hot cheetos, takis and funyuns, oh my!) and when I'm at home it's red wine, tea and a ridiculously cheesy (6 to be exact) grilled cheese. Your food and drink of choice doesn't need to be healthy, just in your head so your not grabbing everything that sounds yummy or that your stressed out, sleep lacking eyes see. 

Friendship: In times like these you need a friend who just absolutely gets you, understands you and knows who you are inside, backwards, upside-down and in their sleep. Luckily, for me that is my best friend Autumn. When I'm stressing out, she just gets me. She may not always agree with me but she can understand where I am coming from and be my neutral voice of reason. She validates my feelings and allows me to see things through another perspective. Thank you so much Autumn for putting up with me! I'm so thankful that we met, decided to be friends and that I have you as a support network. 

Options: I am a hardcore believer in options, options, options. When something is not available to you, it's always great to have something else to look forward too. Now, don't spread yourself too thin by over planning, but instead, have a small and simple list of activities you can do when you need alone time. For me some of those activities include writing (hence this blog post), cuddling up too trash reality tv (Bridezillas, Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, ect.), reading, going on walks and taking bubble baths. When I have one of those things in mind during times of stress and anxiety, I feel relieved when I finally accomplish and complete one of those things. 

Focusing On The Big Picture: Often when I'm stressed and having anxiety, I notice that I dissect E*V*E*R*Y*T*H*I*N*G. To the point where I am stressing myself out even more. What I have been learning to keep in mind is if the situation on hand will matter within a short amount of time (like a week from now) or if it prevents me from reaching the goals that I am attempting to accomplish. This is one of the most difficult de-stress techniques that I have tried to learn and still am learning. 

Well, that's a wrap! I feel much better after writing about all of this and putting it out there! Thank you for taking the time to read my article. Please share and comment with any questions or concerns. I appreciate it!